The Eight Splendid Truths of Happiness

The Eight Splendid Truths of Happiness

(Article written by Gretchen Rubin / Original article can be found here)

In my study of happiness, I’ve labored to identify its fundamental principles. Because I get a tremendous kick out of the numbered lists that pop up throughout Buddhism (the Triple Refuge, the Noble Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths, the eight auspicious symbols), I decided to dub these fundamental principles as my Eight Splendid Truths.

Each one of these truths sounds fairly obvious and straightforward, but each was the product of tremendous thought. Take the Second Splendid Truth—it’s hard to exaggerate the clarity I gained when I finally managed to put it into words. Here they are:

First Splendid Truth
To be happier, you have to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

Second Splendid Truth
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy;
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

Third Splendid Truth
The days are long, but the years are short. (Click here to see my one-minute movie; of everything I’ve written about happiness, I think this video resonates most with people.)

Fourth Splendid Truth
You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.
(Many argue the opposite case. John Stuart Mill, for example, wrote, “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.” I disagree.)

Fifth Splendid Truth
I can build a happy life only on the foundation of my own nature.

Sixth Splendid Truth
The only person I can change is myself.

Seventh Splendid Truth
Happy people make people happy, but
I can’t make someone be happy, and
No one else can make me happy.

Eighth Splendid Truth
Now is now. (For more on this truth, read the last chapter of Happier at Home. I love writing endings, and if I may say so, endings are my forte, and this is the best ending I've ever written.)
What did I miss? What Splendid Truth is missing from that list?

Now I’m trying to come up with my personal eight auspicious symbols for happiness. Let’s see—bluebird, ruby slippers, dice, blood, bird house, treasure box, roses…hmmm. I will have to keep thinking about that.

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(Photo: groundswell, Flickr)



Want to Boost Your Self-Esteem? Throw Away Someone Else’s Trash. Just Because.

Want to Boost Your Self-Esteem? Throw Away Someone Else’s Trash. Just Because.

(Article written by Gretchen Rubin, www.happiness-project.com, article originally posted on Linkedin.com and can be found here)

Self-esteem is a topic that has generated a fair amount of controversy over the last few decades, but one thing seems clear: you don’t get healthy self-esteem from constantly telling yourself how great you are, or even from other people telling you how great you are.

You do boost your self-esteem when you keep a difficult resolution, meet a challenge, solve a problem, learn a skill, or cross something unpleasant off your to-do list. And one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Do good, feel good.

I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection: she was fired from her job, she was rejected from a graduate program, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, “I was practically addicted to doing good deeds. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn’t a total loser.”

I recently performed a very small good deed that gave me a boost: I threw away someone else’s trash. I’ve always been careful to throw away my own litter, but it never occurred to me to do anything about random litter lying around.

The other day, though, I was in the subway, where an empty Snapple bottle was rolling around to the great annoyance of everyone in the car. The bottle rolled back and forth, and I thought, “Someone should pick that up.” Then I thought—“Someone like me! Why shouldn’t I be the one to pick it up?” So I did. I was astonished by the surge of good feeling I got, quite disproportionate to such a minor action.

Since then, I’ve looked for chances to throw away other people’s trash. Newspapers strewn across seats in the airport, coffee cups abandoned on counters, that kind of thing. (Want more ideas? Look at these tips.)

“Do good, feel good” is a happiness truism that really is true. Act like a considerate citizen of the world, and you’ll also boost your self-esteem. How about you? Have you felt a boost in your feelings of self-worth after doing something worthwhile?

If you want to read more about this, check out Happier at Home, chapter 9. (Can't resist adding: New York Times bestseller.)

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(Photo: justin_taylor33, Flickr)