5 Management Secrets I Learned From my Dog

5 Management Secrets I Learned From my Dog

(Article written by Ryan Holmes, CEO of HootSuite and originally posted on Linkedin.com here)

Twelve years ago, I adopted my dog Mika from a shelter. She’s a big brown and black Rottweiler-cross; a mutt with a stubborn streak—who’s also my best friend. My life has changed significantly over the last few years, but Mika has been the one constant pillar through it all. No matter how exhausted I come home from yet another business trip, Mika greets me at the door with enthusiasm. She comes to work with me every day and sits (or sleeps) by my desk through every meeting I have. When I walk around the office, my employees will often see Mika before they see me, because she is always by my side. Through her, I’ve learned the merits of unconditional love. I’ve also picked up a few important lessons in work and life. Here are five that apply to working better:

1. Be loyal (but not to a fault). Mika isn’t the only loyal dog out there. Dogs are legendary for their loyalty. We all know the story of Lassie, a devoted collie who overcame a long and dangerous journey to be reunited with a young boy she loved. There are also many real-world canine loyalty stories out there, like the one from earlier this year about Ciccio, a German Shepherd in Italy, who reportedly goes to church every day and waits patiently for his recently deceased owner to meet him there. Or the heartwarming story of Hawkeye, a Labrador Retriever who famously laid down next to the coffin of his owner Jon Tumilson, a US soldier who died in combat.

In business, loyalty can be a huge asset. I’ve learned that surrounding yourself with a loyal team is one of the key factors to success. I owe a lot to the people who helped me build my company and product to what it is now, I’m proud that some are still by my side today. With their unique knowledge and passion, these team members continue to be integral to our company, HootSuite.

BUT, this should all be taken with a grain of salt. Blind loyalty helps nobody. Ciccio might go to church to wait for his beloved owner every day, but he’s still getting his food from someone else. If I know that a team member is—after a certain fair amount of time—not doing the job they was hired to do, or if a business ally is starting to look out for only his best interests, I will make the tough call to part ways. After all, like Mika, at the end of the day I have to get my kibble—not just for me but for the best interests of the rest of the organization and all of the people whose livelihood depends on its success.

2. Trust your instincts. Mika has an amazing internal clock. For example, every day when the clock hits 4:59 p.m. she knows it’s time to eat...and she will get her food no matter what. It’s pretty incredible, because you can’t trick her to think otherwise. She just knows. She also stays away from people who she deems threatening, as many dogs do.

In business, it can be very important to trust your instincts. Faulty data, miscommunications, even people with interests that aren’t aligned with your own can get in the way of making the best decisions. It can also waste a lot of time to be constantly second-guessing things. In 2008, many investors rejected investing in HootSuite for a number of reasons, but (thankfully), something told me that I should plow forward. Today, I am CEO of a social media company with a tool that’s being used by 79 of the Fortune 100 companies and over 6 million people around the world. Back then, despite the odds, I just knew instinctively that there was something remarkable about the need we were solving for our users, the product and the talented team who were building it with me.

When it comes to business decisions, take time to listen to others, but in the end don’t forget to trust the most important influencer—yourself. As the late Steve Jobs once advised, “Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

3. Know what you want and be super persistent about getting it. Persistence pays, and nobody knows that better than a dog. When was the last time your dog sat frozen next to you through an entire meal, gazing up with his Bambi eyes, drool dripping from the sides of his mouth? How many times have you caved and tossed him a bite by the end, impressed by his determination and patience...all for a tiny, momentary pleasure?

Mika is an accomplished beggar and ultra persistent when it comes to her food. She’s the dog who will sit quietly in the background at a party, until the very end, then rush around and snap up all of the dropped morsels of food on the floor.

I’ve often been told that I am also very persistent when it comes to work. Indeed, I had to be when it came to finding the funding that launched my company. But many of my successful colleagues share the same trait. It’s very, very important in business to not give up. If you have a goal, you have to learn to tackle obstacles from every possible angle, and do everything it takes to get to a desired outcome. Oftentimes, it’s through dogged persistence that true innovation and breakthroughs happen. Legend has it that Walt Disney was turned down by 302 banks before he got the funding he needed to open Disneyland.

At worst, by being persistent, you learn something along the way—what to do better next time, and what techniques or approaches work, what doesn’t.

4. If you’re going to do it, do it 110%. When Mika does something—anything—she doesn’t hold back. She eats every meal like it’s her first (or last), she walks every walk with the same enthusiasm she’s had since puppyhood. She’s actually even torn a ligament in her leg twice from overexerting herself at play. I’m not suggesting we should be quite as unabashedly enthusiastic in business, but there is something inspiring in this approach.

Once you’ve decided to do something (after assessing the potential risks and benefits), why not reach for the stars with it? I’ve found that in business, if you strive to hit a place one or two steps beyond the foreseeable goal, the realm of possibilities expands. It’s how I plan things and I like to encourage my employees do the same: push past boundaries and pursue opportunities that they might have initially thought impossible or too big. It’s important to know your worth and set the stage for the future. When I built HootSuite I had no idea that it would one day be used by millions of people around the world, in major political revolutions and by huge corporations like Pepsi and Virgin. My current goal, which I've made public, is to make HootSuite a billion-dollar company. When people tell me it’s not possible, I wonder if I should make it two billion instead!

5. Unplug. Go outside and play. I consider my laptop absolutely essential, but to Mika it’s a totally boring block of metal. If you’re a workaholic with a dog, consider yourself lucky—because she will constantly remind you how fresh air, good food and a healthy and fit body are actually the real essentials of life. Thanks to Mika, I always have to tear myself away from my work, unplug, and head to the forest or beach for a walk.

I answer hundreds of emails a day, but I’m also just as active in things like yoga, cycling and rock climbing. I love the outdoors. I make an effort to ensure that I’m not stuck in an office starting at a screen for hours (or days) on end.

With technology penetrating our lives and jobs more than ever, it’s easy to be online and working 24-7. But it’s very important to regularly de-stress and refresh your mind and body. In fact, there’s a lot of research that suggests exercise can even improve productivity.

So no matter how busy (you think) you are, turn off your digital devices for a bit, get outside and run your heart out. Take it from Mika—you’ll have a better night’s sleep if you do.

Do you have a trusted canine companion? What lessons have you learned from your dog in life and business?

10 Ways To Be Sensationally Successful At Your New Job

(Article written by Dharmesh Shah and originally posted on Linkedin.com here)

You just got a shiny new job, at a great company. Congrats! Your first day at a new job can either be the first day of the rest of your life… or the first of a series of endless “Groundhog Day” experiences, where every day feels the same and your new job quickly seems just like the old job.

To make sure that doesn't happen, here are ten things to do differently and help you stand-out:

1. Behave as if you’re still being interviewed.

Once you’re hired it’s natural to feel a sense of accomplishment. It’s easy to assume you belong.

After all, they hired you, right? You’re awesome! And the company is brilliant for having recognized your awesomeness. High five!

Not so fast. Sure, you got hired, and in fact you may be awesome, but you haven’t actually done anything for your new company yet. All you've really shown is that you can get the great new gig.

Now you need to prove you deserve it.

Think of your first thirty to ninety days as an extended interview. Show up every day thinking you need to prove you deserved to be hired. You'll work harder, work smarter, won’t take anything for granted… and in short order you will prove you belong.

2. See your manager as a person you help, not a person who tells you what to do.

Yes, in theory, your manager gets to tell you what to do. In practice, that's probably not why she hired you.

Here’s a better approach: Your manager has things she needs to get done. See your job as helping her get those things done. The more you help her achieve her goals and targets the more highly you will be valued.

Plus you’ll find it’s a lot easier to work hard when you feel you’re helping someone instead of obeying them. And you’ll enjoy your work more too – it’s a lot more fun and an infinitely more rewarding to help than to comply.

3. Build relationships based on performance, not conversation.

Great companies with great cultures welcome new employees to the fold. Other employees go out of their way to meet and get to know you.

That’s awesome, but work still involves work, not just conversation. Be nice, be friendly, be yourself – but always remember that the best working relationships are based on respect and trust, and respect and trust are based on actions and performance, not just on words.

Prove yourself. Pitch in. Help out. Follow through. Meet every commitment. Earn the respect and trust of others and you will build truly great professional relationships.

And you’ll build some great friendships, too.

4. Go the extra mile early – and often.

Early on you probably don’t have all the skills you need. You probably don’t have all the experience. You probably don’t have all the contacts and connections.

But you can have the willingness to work extremely hard.

Work hard and everyone around you will forgive a certain lack of skill and experience. They’ll know you’re trying – and sometimes, at least for a while, that’s all that matters.

5. Spot the high performers and mimic them.

Every organization is different, which means the key attributes of top performers in those organizations are different, too.

Maybe the top performers work more – or different – hours. Maybe relationship building is more important than transactional selling. Maybe flexibility is more important than methodology.

Pick out the top performers and study them. Figure out what makes them tick. How they approach problems. How they make decisions. There’s no need to reinvent the high performance wheel; save that for when you are a top performer and want to go an even higher level.

6. Think three moves ahead.

Great chess players think many moves ahead. The current move builds a base for future moves.

You can do the same at work. Think about where a task might lead you. Think about how you can leverage your current responsibilities. Think about what skills you can learn, visibility you can gain, connections you can build… every task, every project, and every job can lead to a number of great possibilities.

Think of your current duties as one piece in a puzzle, a puzzle that you get to put together and ultimately build.

7. Find a way to stand out.

We have remarkable employees at HubSpot. We feel they have a super-power that makes them stand out in some way. Maybe they’re remarkably smart, or remarkably creative, or remarkably resourceful, or remarkably successful... each of our employees stands out in some special and unique way.

Work hard to be known for something specific. Be known for responding more quickly or following up first or always offering to help before you’re asked. Be the leader known for turning around struggling employees or creating the biggest pool of promotable talent or building bridges between different departments.

Pick a worthwhile mission – one that truly benefits the company and other employees – and work to excel at that mission. Then you’ll stand out in the best possible way.

8. Create your own project.

Succeeding and even excelling at the projects you’re assigned is expected. Excelling at a project you create yourself is exceptional.

The key is to take personal risk with a new project (while making sure the company and your colleagues shoulder most of the risk).

For example, we had a member of our sales team believe passionately in building a partner channel. It wasn't an area that anyone on the exec team was particularly excited about. But, he did it anyway. He did it on his own time, working late, trying different things… and ultimately figured it out. He is now running one of the fastest growing and productive teams in the company. He has also helped create the model for how experiments are run and managed at HubSpot.

I know what you’re thinking: “Wait. He did it on his own time?” Yes, he did. He decided to prove himself. If he had failed, there was little cost to the company so really there was nothing to lose.

But for him – and the company – there was a lot to possibly be gained.

You don’t have to wait to be asked. You don’t have to wait to be assigned. Pick a side project where, if you fail, there’s no harm and no foul, and take your shot. You never know how it will turn out… and what it will do for your career.

9. Find people to help.

You’re new. People are supposed to help you, right?

Right. And wrong.

You can start helping people now. If you see someone struggling and you don’t know what to do, say, “I’m new so you may have to tell me what to do… but I would love to help you.” If you’re in a meeting and someone else was assigned a seemingly overwhelming project, stop by later and ask if you can help. Even if you’re not taken up on it, the offer will likely be appreciated.

Or volunteer to help in an area you’d like to know more about. Work in sales? You could volunteer to help your marketing team create a new piece of content. Work in marketing? You could help your engineering team do some user testing on a new product.

Just make sure you don’t become the guy who helps others but doesn't get his own stuff done.

No one likes that guy.

10. Never forget why you were hired.

Yes, you want to learn and grow. Yes, you want to build a career. Yes, you want to feel happy and fulfilled.

And yes, you were hired to help advance the goals and mission of the company.

It’s possible to fulfill your goals and the company’s goals. Make sure you do. That way you and the company win – and isn't that what the employer/employee relationship should be all about?

The Strongest Careers Are Non-Linear

The Strongest Careers Are Non-Linear

(Article written by Penelope Trunk, Brazen Careerist for and originally posted on Linkedin.com and can be read in it's original format here.) 

　(Note by Will: I wasn't raised this way (Hence my doctorate),　having been　taught that getting as much education as you can stand　was the correct path to go. So, I cannot fully agree with this article. However, she has a very strong point and her logic is sound. I personally now owe $546,000 in interest on $120,000 in Federally subsidized loans... $100,000 of which I did not need for degrees I really could have done without.　Moreover, these loans, which were and are my only form of debt,　went into default for a year as I couldn't get employed out of school to make the money that I needed to pay them off. With all that being said, I made no wrong moves or bad choices. Such was simply the path that had to occur, which, is inadequate.)

For years we have been talking about the education bubble and the problem that colleges charge tons of money and then graduates are unemployable and in debt. Colleges are responding by becoming job preparation centers. And Frank Bruni, opinion editor for the New York Times, says this is a waste of time and resources. Here’s what’s better:

1. Skipping college.
The real issue we have with admitting that college is not a path to the work world is then we have to ask ourselves why we send our kids to high school. There is plenty of data to show that teens are able to manage their lives without the constraints of school. The book Escaping the Endless Adolescence is chock full of data, and a recent article by my favorite journalist, Jennifer Senior, shows that high school is not just unnecessary, but actually damaging to teens who need much more freedom to grow than high school affords.

2. Focus on internships instead of school.
Kids should be working in internships in high school. Because the best path to a good job is a bunch of great internships. But great internships don’t go to people who need money. They are mostly for young people. Yes, this is probably illegal and classist and bad for a fluid society. But we will not debate that here. Instead we will debate why kids need to go to college if the internships are what make them employable? Kids should do internships in high school and by their college years, they are capable of real jobs where they are doing work that people value, with cash.

You cannot take this route if you’re saddled with huge student loans. You can’t take this route if you’re inundated by homework in required subjects you don’t care about. You can’t take this route if you have no work experience when you graduate college. It’s too late. (Don’t tell me you need to go to school to learn, okay? People just do not believe this anymore.)

I was reading the Fortune list of 40 under 40 and I was struck by the career history of Kevin Feige (number 11 on the list). He’s president of Marvel Studios at age 39. He wrote that he interned with the Superman movie director as a film student and that was the last job application he filled out. That’s because if you get an internship with someone great, and your performance is great, your network will cover your employment needs for a very long time.

3. Start a company instead of writing a resume.

I’m struck by Marissa Mayer (number 3 on Fortune’s list) whose announced acquisition strategy is buying small, cheap companies. Which is, in effect, buying the team. Silicon Valley calls these acqui-hires. She is looking at young people who start companies that are not necessarily successful in terms of product or sales but successfully market the founders as visionaries, self-starters, and hard workers. You can’t show those traits in school, so if you have those traits, you slow yourself down by going to school where you cannot exhibit your best, marketable traits.

4. Refuse to present yourself in a linear way.

Do any workaround that lets you forgo the linear obsession the standard resume format. Because linear presentations favor people who have long, rule-following careers – which don’t necessarily make you look good anyway. I could write a post ten thousand paragraphs long of all the new things people with nonlinear work histories are doing to get jobs.

People use twitter as a resume, according to the Wall Street Journal, which requires only that you publish ideas, not any sort of academic experience.

Young people are selling stock in themselves - paying out dividends for decades at a time.
Agents represent workers who pick and choose projects that match them rather than signing on for indefinite amounts of time. The Harvard Business Review calls this supertemping. Business Week calls it going Hollywood.

But here’s the big takeaway. A fundamental shift is taking place, where the path to getting a job is massively circumventing college credentials. And, at the same time, the American public is fed up with the insane debt that college are expecting new grads to take on in order to graduate. (Good essay: How College Ruined My Life.)

If you are not going to school in order to “fit” into the adult world, then why are you going to school? The love of learning, presumably. But school reform pundits are 100% sure that kids will choose to learn if you put no constraints on them. They will just learn what they want. Best example: The MIT program that gave iPads to illiterate kids in Ethiopia, and they taught themselves to use it, program it, and read it in English. No teacher. No curriculum.

The biggest barrier to accepting the radical new nature of the job hunt is the reverberations throughout the rest of life. If you don’t need school for work, and you don’t need school for learning, then all you need school for is so parents can go to work and not worry about taking care of their kids.

It takes bravery to go against the grain. It’s difficult to say that the great learning and the great jobs come from leaning out, doing things in a nonlinear, non standard way, and playing only by the rules that fit your own style for personal learning and growth.

The 2 A.M. Email: A Public Display Of Ambition

The 2 A.M. Email: A Public Display Of Ambition

(Article Written by Randi Zuckerberg (Zuckerberg Media) for Linkedin. Original article can be found here.)

In today’s working world, there is a lot of pressure to always be “on.” If a colleague is consistently sending emails late into the night, we may feel pressured to do so as well. Whenever I wake up and see an email sent to me at 2 a.m., I feel guilty – what am I doing sleeping when somebody else is up working? Am I not being productive or available enough?

Sending emails late into the night sends a flashing message to coworkers, “I’m ambitious!,” but email doesn't have to be a competition of who can respond faster or who can function on less sleep. Maybe that colleague emailing you at 11 p.m. isn't doing it to one-up you or be seen as Employee of the Month. Some of us send emails at odd hours because that’s when email best fits into our lives. As a mom, I’m most productive and able to catch up on my messages late at night when my 2-year-old son is sleeping and the house is finally quiet. I’m often in meetings all day, and want to spend quality time with my family when I get home - so it’s hard to find a solid chunk of time to give my full attention to my inbox. Around 11 p.m. is my time to plug in again – but this doesn’t mean I expect my colleagues to respond right away or even read my emails before they go to bed. We all have our own routines, including specific times when we are able to focus best. For some, this time may be early in the morning. For others, it’s during the work day in between meetings, on weekends or during a daily commute.

Many managers send emails late at night and seem to be connected around the clock. While some do expect their colleagues to read and respond 24/7 (talk about stressful!), many do not. The problem is, most managers don’t communicate these expectations to their colleagues. It's becoming increasingly popular for stressed employees to request "overtime" pay for the extra hours they spend on their devices. Whenever a new employee begins working with me, I go out of my way to let them know that I work best late at night – but just because they receive late night emails from me, does not mean I expect them to immediately respond. It’s important to clearly let your colleagues (especially direct reports) know when you expect them to be available. They should not have to break into a cold sweat every time their phone buzzes with a new email late at night, or sleep with one eye open and their phone beside their pillow. Tell your colleagues if it’s an urgent matter requiring immediate response, you will call them (and only do this if it’s an emergency!).
In an ideal world, I wish businesses would shut off inter-office email delivery after 9 p.m., so people could send as many late-night emails as they want, without being delivered until the following morning. That way people would never know the difference between someone that efficiently got all their work done by early evening, or someone who stayed up all night working on a project.

5 Ways to 'Up' Your Profile

5 Ways to 'Up' Your Profile

(This Article originally written and posted by Linda Descano on Linkedin.com here)

At one point in your career, you’ve likely been told to “be more visible” if you want to advance your career. I have been on the receiving end of that very advice — and have delivered that advice to more than a few of my team members over the years. But what exactly should we be doing?
I asked three of my go-to gurus on all things work-related — Diane Baranello of Coaching for Distinction, Stacy Lauren Musi of Chadick Ellig Executive Search, and Raleigh Mayer of Raleigh Mayer Consulting — for their suggestions on practical, actionable steps to raise your visibility, which I’ve consolidated into the following 5 tips:

1. Brush Up: Achieve a level of mastery whether you provide a service, sell a product, build buildings, or groom pets. How do you achieve mastery? Request mentorship from a seasoned professional in your field. Share interesting articles with your network. Do research and then publish. Interview experts. Write a white paper. Start a blog. Go back to school for an advanced degree or certification. Any of these will help elevate your expertise and build your credentials.
2. Step Up: Take on rotational or lateral assignments to broaden your exposure, joining task forces and other cross-functional groups to expand your network, and spearheading high visibility (perhaps even higher risk) business or corporate initiatives with firm-wide impact to showcase your business acumen. When stepping up, don’t be casual with how you share information on progress and achievements. Even on a regular update call, create a slide that shares some data. While one should take every opportunity to recognize the progress made by the team and to put others in the spotlight, don’t relinquish your clear role as a leader.
3. Speak Up: Develop relationships across the organization at all levels to expand your network, promote your area, and build your social reputation. Ask to be present at meetings where more senior leaders are in attendance – and, when you present, use language that shows you “own” the work. Hone your ability to deliver a clear, impactful message at meetings and present a point of view whenever the opportunity presents itself.
4. Stand Up: Seek and accept opportunities to present and speak publicly internally and externally to gain visibility and increase your influence, which will give you access to distinguished connections, build your reputation, and gain publicity, perhaps in a journal, on the internet, or in an industry publication. If you don't hold membership in an organization in your field, the time to join is now. Also consider getting involved community and other charitable organizations — and not just as a volunteer but also as a board member.
5. Dress Up: Make every day a “photo opportunity” with a polished appearance including perfect posture, strong body language, and a personal style statement (color, jewelry, or accessory).

What’s been the most effective way you’ve raised your profile?

A Highly Effective Way to Avoid Wasting Your Time

A Highly Effective Way to Avoid Wasting Your Time

(Original article written by Bruce Kasanoff and originally posted on April 15th, 2013 on Linkedin.com here)

Here's a simple way to potentially save hours of your time each week, by investing a total of about five minutes.

First thing one morning, take a piece of paper and write a column of numbers representing each hour from the time you wake up until you go to sleep. For me, the list would start 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1 and go all the way back to 12. (So far, you have invested about fifteen seconds.)

For this single day, at the top of every hour stop for 20 seconds and consider how happy you are with the way you spent your time. Did you invest it wisely? If the answer is yes, don't write anything.

But if you wouldn't repeat the way you spent the last hour, next to the number representing that hour write a few words that describes what you did. On one of my lists, for example, at 3 o’clock I wrote "pointless to talk with Ralph; doesn't listen," meaning that it was a waste of my time to meet with him.

Stick with this exercise all day; it takes very little time, just the discipline to stop every hour for a few seconds. But at the end of the day, you'll have a list of activities you wish you avoided. If the list has more than one or two items, you might want to continue the practice for a while.

If you make this a habit, you'll soon start to spot patterns. It will be easier to recognize ways in which you are wasting time and effort, and you'll do a better job of avoiding these.

Save time for everyone

You can also use this technique across an entire department to help all involved make better use of their time. To avoid offending people, I wouldn't suggest pooling the results. You can simply introduce the test and allow people to draw their own conclusions.

Encourage people to not only list the problems that wasted their time, but to also write down solutions for using their time more wisely. For example, at the end of a long meeting, you might realize that while your initial strategy of barking out orders did not work, that once you took the time to listen to others, they became more willing to listen to you.

You might then write, "Listen first, talk second."

8 Pieces of Professional Advice I Didn't Want But Definitely Needed

8 Pieces of Professional Advice I Didn't Want But Definitely Needed

(Original article posted via Jeff Haden on Linkedin.com and can be located here.)

Since screw-ups tend to be magnets for advice, I've received a lot of painfully direct -- yet ultimately very helpful comments -- along the way:

"Express your individuality on your own time." In my first job after college I sometimes let my personality overshadow my responsibilities and duties and it definitely hurt my performance and limited my opportunities.
We're all servants (in a good way) and our customers, peers, bosses, and direct reports all have needs. Meeting those needs -- on their terms -- is more important than somehow "staying true" to ourselves.
Maintaining your integrity is vital, but there's a big difference between staying true to yourself and "just being me."

"Face value has no value." It's easy to view the actions of others through the lens of how that behavior impacts us, especially if those actions impact us negatively.
Still, most employees don't try to do a bad job. Most customers aren't intentionally difficult. Most bosses aren't simply out to get you.
There is always more to the story. Fail to look deeper and you miss an opportunity to make a bad situation better -- for everyone.

"They're just as scared of you." I wrestled in high school and traveled to summer tournaments where other wrestlers often seemed larger than life. I assigned them a near-mythical status because they came from different states and wore t-shirts from high-profile camps and wrestling clubs.
I never imagined they might see me the same way.
The same is true in business. Under the Armani and Wharton School and high-profile name-drops is a guy or gal just as nervous and insecure as you. Symbols of success are often just a mask.
The playing field is always more level than it seems.

"When you fire someone and need to say more than, 'We have to let you go,' you haven't done your job." Except in unusual circumstances, firing an employee is the last step in a longer process. If along the way you've identified sub-par performance, provided additional training or resources, set targets and timelines for performance improvement, and followed up when progress is lacking, then there are no surprises, no additional conversations necessary, no arguments to have... the employee knows.
And you've done your job as well as you can. But even so...

"If you can sleep the night after you fire someone, something is wrong with you." Even if you've done everything right, firing an employee feels horrible. (I know they "fired themselves," but still.) You've impacted their career, their life, their family... you should feel awful.
If you don't feel awful, it's time to step out of a management role.

"Always sell harder than you think you should." I'm fairly shy and often insecure so "selling" is hard for me. I felt more comfortable waiting for bosses to discover my talents and promote me. I feel more comfortable waiting for potential customers to somehow discover me.
That's a problem, because success in any field or profession is at least partly built on salesmanship -- the ability and willingness to determine needs, overcome objections, provide solutions, and to be charismatic and convincing.
Be enthusiastic. Be especially about yourself. People will respond positively.

"Seriously... just shut up." I used to talk a lot. I thought I was insightful and clever and witty and, well, I thought I was a hoot. Very occasionally I might have been.
Most of the time I wasn't.
Truly confident people don't feel the need to talk -- at all. I hate when it happens, but I still occasionally realize I'm talking not because the other person is interested in what I have to say but because I'm interested in what I have to say.
Never speak just to please yourself; when you do you end up pleasing no one.

"Pick something you believe in and stick to it." When I first started racing motorcycles the then-500cc world champion (this was before today's MotoGP; remember, I'm really old) told me he always walked an unfamiliar track before riding any laps. It was a ritual that allowed him to spot surfaces, bumps, and potential racing lines he might otherwise have missed.
Good enough for him, good enough for me, so I started doing the same thing.
Did it work? I certainly thought it did... and therefore, placebo or not, it did.
Think about a task you perform frequently, choose something you can do that actually helps you perform better, and start doing it every time: Whether it's how you prepare, how you follow-up, how you'll double-check your work, etc. Soon performing your "ritual" will give you more confidence, especially when the stakes are high, and as a result your performance will improve.
Think of it like wearing lucky socks... except in this case it actually makes a difference.
I also write for Inc.com:

• 8 Things You Should NOT Do Every Day
• The Huge Step Every Great Boss Takes
• 6 Habits of Remarkably Likeable People

(Photo courtesy flickr user martij)